What about when MOM is the abuser?

This is a look at a case that got some media attention recently. 26 year old Kelsey Peterson has already been convicted on Federal charges and is awaiting trial on State charges. The following excerpts are from this ARTICLE. You can also read excerpts from her interview at this LINK.


She is accused of having a sexual relationship with Fernando Rodriguez beginning in June 2006, when he was 12 years old and a student at Lexington Middle School, where Peterson was his sixth-grade math teacher.

When school officials discovered the relationship in October 2007, the pair fled to Mexico, leading authorities on a weeklong search.


So a 25 year old and a 12 year old flee to Mexico. And this is apparently what she was convicted for in Federal Court.


Amy Peck, the Omaha attorney representing Rodriguez, said, "Kelsey says that she accepts responsibility for her actions, yet she continues to blame Fernando for what happened."

And I agree. If you read the entire article and interview excerpts it very much appears she blames him. What is worse is that it appears as time goes on she is seeing herself as the victim in all this and blaming him for it.


Peterson claims Rodriguez pursued her.

"He (Rodriguez) came to my class in probably October of my second year of teaching," Peterson said. "He became one of those students that hated to go home, didn't get along with his family and just wanted to hang out with whoever, so he would almost purposely get detention or find a reason to be after school in my classroom."

Peterson said Rodriguez sent her text messages the summer of 2006, after he was in her class. She said Rodriguez pursued her "like a man pursues a woman, and it was constant, constant."

"Eventually, I think I was emotionally worn down by him, and I gave in to thinking I had those same feelings for him," she said.


Blaming the 12 year old victim and basically saying it was his fault for allegedly pursuing her and "wearing" her down. The victim and his attorney have a different take on what she said:


In interviews, Rodriguez told a different story. He said the relationship was "weird" because she was much older. He said Peterson wrote and called to express her love for him.

Peck said the evidence indicates that Fernando's discipline problems began only after the sexual relationship began. "What child isn't going to act out when there is something this improper happening to him?" Peck said.

Sexual abuse is harmful to everyone. Those folks that think it is different for a male or that he should be thankful or happy are quite wrong. I would guess his attorney is quite right in saying his client started having problems after the abuse happened. Though I also notice that they keep calling it a "sexual relationship". It is sexual abuse plain and simple.


Peterson said Rodriguez "practically lived with me" from June to October 2007.

"It was almost like a marriage," she said. "I know that sounds weird, but we were together all the time."

She said they did household chores and watched movies together, but she felt controlled by him — " I sometimes feel like I've been the victim in a lot of ways myself."

"Not that he hasn't been in some ways a victim," Peterson said. "When I say I crossed the line, I was a teacher, he was a student."

Peck, Rodriguez's attorney, said Peterson's claim of being a victim contradicts her statements in federal court "where she admitted that Fernando was not to blame."


Ok this is the part that bothers me the most. Blaming the victim. He was 12 and still a child. And to say that he was "in some ways a victim" is even worse. In fact I want to show more from the excerpts of the interview talking about this very thing:


Victims

"I guess sometimes now I feel that way. Mainly it's after talking to other people who have had the experience of domestic violence that I see all the issues that were underlying our relationship."


It is not a relationship it was a 12 year old being sexually abused by his 25 year old teacher. The distortions and thinking errors are pretty clear in this interview.


"I guess I didn't realize how controlling he was of me from the beginning. I even had one of the ladies who did my pre-sentencing investigation at the federal level said, 'All I did was read letters that he sent you, and I could tell there were control issues. He talks about your weight, he talks about who you can talk to.'

"She said, 'Those were huge red flags to me just reading the letters.'

"I didn't really recognize them until I was removed from the relationship, because it just got worse after that when he came back.

"I was threatened by him. He would be angry with me if I would leave or threaten to go out and do something stupid if I would leave, so I was his 100 percent by the end of it. I didn't do anything without his permission. I couldn't even get a text message on my phone without him checking it.


If someone really did say that to her that person needs to be educated on the whole issue of sexual abuse as well. Again the child was 12. Twelve year olds are not even close to having the maturity, experience, and knowledge to even begin to try to act like an adult in a "relationship". Now she is applying adult standards of behavior to a child and complaining that he acted like a child.


"Not that he hasn't been in some ways a victim. When I say I crossed the line, I was a teacher, he was a student. There were some ways he was put in a victim situation in this, but not near to the extent that people would like to say he is. I sometimes feel like I've been the victim in a lot of ways myself."


This victimstance and minimizing are things that many people see in sexual offenders. This article and interviews are nice as they allow people to read and see these distortions in a real case. Sadly if what she said was true and some professional did make the statements to her that she claims than it has just made things worse and not helped her at all.