What about when MOM is the abuser?

I wanted to post this case on here because it is something that many people just do not think can happen:

Alicia Lee, 31, from Denver, Colorado, is charged with sexual assault on young child - her own 2-year-old son. Lee faces charges of sexual assault on a child, sexual assault on a child by a person in a position of trust and additional charges.

Alicia Lee of Denver took photos of herself performing oral sex on her child and then e-mailed them to a friend in April, according to an arrest affidavit.

According to a copy of the e-mail reported by the Rocky Mountain News, Lee wrote to her friend, "Did I tell you about my fantacy (sic) about the baby? It is weird but at times when I change his diaper I think of taking it into my mouth to see his reaction."

In a message the next day, she wrote, "DID IT!!././.He giggled a lot. I think it tickled him. I will try again tomorrow. I think if I do it enough he will get use (sic) to it."

There are a few other things that make me wonder. The report said that she sent those emails to a friend in April and it says this:

The e-mails were forwarded to the child's father by a friend July 31. The father reported it to police.

So if those dates are correct it took from April 4th until the last day of July for someone to speak out about this? This is an EVIL that is just as bad if not worse than the actual acts of abuse. The evil of doing nothing.

Another edition of the weekly article round-up:

HANOVER, PA - A Hanover woman was charged after police said she grabbed, bit and licked another woman's breast, had a child touch her inappropriately and kicked other small children.

Hanover Police responded to an apartment building in the 400 block of Baltimore St., where a woman alleged that on Aug. 10 Candy S. Conner, 19, of 573 Broadway, Apt. 2, grabbed her breast without her consent and bruised it, according to court documents.

The woman, whom police didn't identify, also told police Conner pulled unidentified woman's shirt down, bit and licked her breast and kicked her in front of other witnesses, police said.

Another woman told police that on Aug. 10, she observed Conner exposing her breast to a 5-year-old boy and allowing him to touch it as she laughed, police said. Police then talked to the boy's mother who said she had previously seen this occur. - Read the entire article here



GUELPH, Ont. — A 27-year-old woman convicted of infanticide in the suffocation deaths of two of her sons was handed a six-year sentence today.

The Guelph, Ont., woman, who was 17 when her first son died, admitted to police that she smothered the two babies using blankets and plastic baby carriage covers. - Read the entire article here


CA - A Riverside woman convicted of killing her 3-year-old developmentally disabled son by slamming a door into his head, apparently to stop his crying, is slated to be sentenced Friday in Riverside Superior Court. The prosecutor said Ochoa, 31, often failed to take her son to doctor's appointments or the special-needs school in which he was enrolled.

The prosecutor said Ochoa later admitted to police that "she was tired of Matteo's crying and didn't know what to do to get him to stop crying." - Read the entire article here


FLINT, Michigan - Rosalind L. Brown and her brother Montel Pettiford will spend the rest of the lives in prison for the 1985 slaying of Brown's 11-year-old stepson.

The Wyoming woman was convicted of the death of her 11-year-old stepson, who authorities said was poisoned and then drowned in the Flint River. - Read the entire article here


YORK COUNTY, Pa. - A York County woman has been sentenced to time served in the death of her mother-in-law. Bernadette Leiben, 87, died in 2004 in the Airville home where she lived with her son and daughter-in-law.

An autopsy revealed the bed-ridden woman died of multiple infections brought on by neglect. - Read the entire aricle here


COLUMBUS, Ohio — The Bexley house "cultivated an environment for perverse activity," the judge said. It was a characterization that homeowner Becky Jo Tatum didn't deny.

The 42-year-old mother of two apologized for the environment and the crimes that ensued: having sex with her daughter's 14-year-old friend, having cocaine in the home and keeping a gun, which was illegal for someone previously convicted of drug and prostitution charges. - Read the entire article here


UK - A mother who murdered her four-year-old daughter because she was "ashamed" of her disability has been jailed for at least 15 years. Joanne Hill, 32, drowned Naomi, who had mild cerebral palsy. Hill admitted to killing Naomi on Nov. 26 last year at the family home.

During a two-week trial at Chester Crown Court a jury heard that hard-drinking Hill was ashamed of Naomi's condition, which meant the little girl had to use calipers to help her walk. - Read the entire article here


EUGENE, Ore. - A woman who embezzled more than half a million dollars from community organizations in Toledo -- and spent it all -- is headed to jail. Miller admitted to spending more than 10 years stealing from people in the town of about 3,500 between Corvallis and Newport.

Her targets were the federal credit union where she worked, Toledo's volunteer firefighters and even the high school Booster Club. - Read the entire article here


FREMONT, Oh. - A city woman was sentenced to five years probation and electronic monitoring for 180 days for having sexual contact with a then 14-year-old boy for more than three months.

Renee L. Frye, 28, earlier pleaded guilty to two third-degree felony counts of unlawful sexual conduct with a minor. - Read the entire article here


NC - A woman was sentenced yesterday to four years in prison for sex crimes involving an 11-year-old boy. Jacqueline Gray, 32, also has to serve five years on probation as part of her plea deal with prosecutor Pansy Glanton.

The boy's grandmother told Craig that the boy, now 13, was trying to overcome the trauma of being abused. "There are times when he just gets quiet," she said. "He's getting better and he's working things out and he's doing the best he can at 13." - Read the entire article here


MACON, Ga. - A Reynolds woman is in jail accused of killing a six-month-old baby, according to a news release from the Fort Valley Police Department. Preliminary autopsy results indicate the child died from severe blunt force trauma to the head and brain.

Police arrested the infant's aunt, Lashunika Harp, 23, at 5:30 p.m. today. - Read the entire article here


BETHEL, Ma. - A woman living in a Bethel House apartment on Main Street was arrested Friday for an armed robbery at the Key Bank the day before.

Nancy Baker (aka Plante), 30, was arrested Friday night at the Bethel Police Station by Maine State Police, according to jail records. - Read the entire article here


KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A Texas woman is jailed in suburban Kansas City on charges in the smothering death of her 6-week-old son. Authorities also are looking into the deaths of the woman's two other infants, whose deaths in recent years had been attributed to sudden infant death syndrome.

Police in Lee's Summit said Thursday that 29-year-old Sweet Cherry Ann Halliburton told them that she had killed her son. - Read the entire article here


SC - The Greenville County Sheriff’s Department told us Wednesday morning two men were robbed at an apartment complex by a pair of women with a .25 caliber Beretta pistol on Tuesday night. - Read the entire article here


NY - A 23-year-old Amsterdam woman has been arrested after police say she slapped her two-year-old son several times while in a public waiting room. Michelle Waterson is charged with misdemeanor endangering the welfare of a child in connection with September 23rd incident in which the Montgomery County Sheriff's Office said she struck her young son.

According to the Sheriff's Office, Waterson was in the waiting room of the Montgomery County Office Building in the village of Fonda when she became angry with her son and slapped him several times in the face, mouth and head, and struck him in the head with a rolled up wad of paper. - Read the entire article here


WV - As previously reported, Marsha Evans, 34, was arrested Monday when police responded to Kermit — grades K-8 — per a complaint from the school alleging Evans assaulted school personnel. When Mingo County Deputy Sheriff Mike Miller and Kermit City Police Chief Ernie Chambers arrived to investigate, they checked Evans vehicle and found a loaded Smith and Wesson .45 caliber handgun. - Read the entire article here


SACRAMENTO, Ca. - A woman panhandling in downtown Sacramento Monday evening pulled out a gun and shot a disabled man who refused her money, scattering a terrified crowd gathered at a busy bus stop, police said. A short time after the shooting, police arrested Audrey Jackson, 47, who has no known address. She was spotted by an alert Regional Transit bus driver, who matched the description of the shooter to a passenger in his bus and notified police.

Relatives of Perez, who walks with a cane and has cerebral palsy, poured into the hospital lobby from all over Northern California Monday night. She asked for money and when Perez refused, she shot him once in the abdomen, took aim again, but the gun wouldn't fire, according to Sgt. Stephen Lau. - Read the entire article here


KY - A Pulaski County woman who disappeared after being indicted for abusing her twin babies was arrested Friday.

The investigation began in July, when 36-year-old Tricia Kimbler took her 4-month-old twins to the hospital. Doctors were so alarmed when they saw how underweight the babies were, they called the Sheriff's Department. - Read the entire article here


DENVER - A 31-year-old Denver woman has been charged with sexually assaulting her 2-year-old son. The mother, who The Denver Post will not identify to protect the identity of her child, is accused of assaulting the toddler and then e-mailing photographs about the assault to a friend, according to the Denver district attorney's office. - Read the entire article here


JUNEAU — A Columbus woman accused of setting fire to her home and stealing more than $80,000 from a former employer in two separate cases was ordered Thursday to stand trial on arson and theft charges.

Authorities believe that Krista S. Meeker, 34, N5727 Lark Road, started a fire in the kitchen of her home on the morning of April 12 to free herself from mortgage payments. - Read the entire article here


FRANKLIN, N.H. - A woman charged with severely beating her stepdaughter for nine hours has been released from jail after her bail was lowered because she is pregnant and apparently suffering from a variety of medical conditions.

Cara LeBlanc, 29, of Webster, N.H., is facing six felony charges. Prosecutors said her stepdaughter was abused for nine hours, was thrown down a flight of stairs and suffered several broken bones and damaged organs. - Read the entire article here


AU - Police said the woman followed the 27-year-old driver to a house in Condon, in Townsville, after two cars collided at the Gumvale shops, in nearby Rasmussen, at around 7.15pm (AEST). She then attacked the other driver's car with a hammer, smashing panels and windows.

Police said they later found what appeared to be home-made Molotov cocktails when they went to the attacker's home where she became violent, kicking an officer in the groin as he tried to restrain her. - Read the entire article here


MI - An Ann Arbor woman charged with stalking her estranged husband is under investigation for a firebombing at her mother-in-law's home, city police said.

Melissa Shoultz, 41, is charged with one count of aggravated stalking and three counts of malicious use of a telecommunication device for repeated calls and text messages to her estranged husband and his mother throughout the summer, court records show. - Read the entire article here


MEMPHIS, TN – Police have charged a woman in the killing of an elderly man who was found dead in the kitchen of his home. MPD Homicide Investigators have charged Pamela Fletcher, 51, with Voluntary Manslaughter in the homicide of 85 year-old J.T. Brewer. - Read the entire article here


LAKE CHARLES, La. — A 29-year-old woman who allegedly kicked a pregnant woman in the stomach and groin, causing her to prematurely give birth to a baby that died, has been indicted on negligent homicide and second-degree battery charges. - Read the entire article here


BRISTOL - A former teacher at the American School for the Deaf in West Hartford was charged Friday morning with sexually assaulting a student in the woman's former North Pond Street home, police said.

Julie A. Denno, 27, of Ballston Lake, N.Y. is facing charges of second-degree sexual assault and risk of injury to a minor after allegedly engaging in a relationship that included "inappropriate physical contact" and sexually charged text messages with a 15-year-old boy over a period of several months, prosecutors said in court Friday afternoon. - Read the entire article here


ROME - An Italian woman who worked as a part-time judge as well as a lawyer was substituted by her identical twin sister in court so she would not lose out on legal fees when she had two simultaneous engagements.

The 54-year-old twins from northern Italy have now been charged with fraud and will go on trial in January, Italy's leading newspaper, Corriere della Sera, reported Friday on its website. - Read the entire article here


WINCHESTER, Ky. --The Clark County sheriff says a central Kentucky woman has been charged with wanton murder in the death of her 4-year-old daughter.

Sheriff Berl Perdue says 34-year-old Jessilyn C. Robinson was arrested Thursday night and charged in the death of Faith Raeanne Robinson. - Read the entire article here

THURSDAY, July 10 (HealthDay News) -- Nearly half of all college-age students have experienced relationship violence at some point in their lives, according to an article published in the July issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Christine M. Forke, of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, and colleagues surveyed 910 college students to measure self-reported victimization and perpetration of physical, emotional and sexual violence. Relationship violence was further classified as partner or non-partner violence.

Of those surveyed, 44.7 percent, 42.1 percent and 17.1 percent reported partner/non-partner violence, victimization, and perpetration, respectively. Sexual and emotional violence were equally common during college (12 percent and 11.8 percent, respectively), while emotional violence was most frequent before college (21.1 percent), the investigators found. Women were more likely to perpetrate physical violence and men more likely to perpetrate sexual violence. While victimization was more commonly reported by women, 27.2 percent of men reported victimization, the report indicates.

The authors conclude that "all forms of relationship violence are prevalent among male and female college students" and that the victimization and perpetration rates suggest "a need to assess the availability of high school and college resources for relationship violence prevention and treatment."

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I wanted to post an article from Salon that is a bit dated but still quite good for seeing psychopaths at work. Margaret Talbot's Femme Fatales article gives a horrific glimpse of child abuse where British researchers videotaped women (and a few men) smothering, poisoning, and, in one case, deliberately breaking the arm of their children. I have added emphasis to parts of it:


In November 1997, the journal Pediatrics published the results of a terrifying experiment. Doctors at several hospitals in Great Britain had decided to covertly videotape 39 parents -- most of them mothers -- whom medical personnel had begun to suspect were deliberately bringing their young children to the brink of death. What they saw astounded them. In 30 of the 39 cases, the parents were observed intentionally suffocating their children; in two they were seen attempting to poison a child; in a third, the mother under surveillance deliberately broke her 3-month-old daughter's arm. Many of the parents seemed as methodical and as brazen, as scoured of fear or conscience, as any serial killer. "Abuse was inflicted without provocation and with premeditation, and in some instances, involved elaborate and plausible lies to explain consequences," the study's authors wrote. "For example, one mother claimed that she had suffocated her son because of stress related to his crying and continually waking her from sleep. However, under surveillance, the mother was seen, with premeditated planning, to suffocate her infant when he was deeply asleep. The majority of other cases showed attempted suffocation when the child was asleep or lying passively on the bed. Children did not appear to provoke their parents into abusing them."

The odd thing -- the really chilling thing -- was that these were women (and a few men) who masqueraded as good parents, the sort who rushed their children to the emergency room when they had trouble breathing, and stood by them with fortitude and devotion while the doctors puzzled out what was wrong. They were slick, many of them; they could morph from demonic menace to concerned mum the minute a doctor or nurse walked in the room. They liked the social prestige of a mysterious disease; they liked the proximity to powerful medical professionals; they liked the attention and the drama -- the wail of the sirens, the adrenalin rush of the ER. And more than that, they seemed to get some acidy trickle of satisfaction out of terrorizing their children.

"2:02 p.m.," reads the transcript of the case in which the mother snapped her daughter's arm before nurses, alerted to what was happening on videotape, could stop her. "Mother slaps the infant's head. 2:03 p.m.: repeated. 2:09 p.m.: repeated. 2:53 p.m.: The mother tears up the nursing record and throws it out the window. 2:58 p.m.: The mother swears at the infant, accusing her of being responsible for them having to remain in the hospital. There is growing anger with the mother repeatedly ordering the infant to kiss her. 'Give me a kiss, you little sod, give me a kiss. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!'" And so on and on.

With further investigation, it turned out that the 39 patients under surveillance, ages 1 month to nearly 3 years old, had 41 siblings, and that 12 of those siblings had died suddenly and unexpectedly.

How could these parents have gone on so long unrecognized for what they were? How for that matter did others like them get away with it? Waneta Hoyt, whose five babies were thought to have died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome -- indeed whose experience was virtually the entire basis for the influential theory that SIDS runs in families -- and who, in 1995, finally confessed to having suffocated them herself. Marybeth Tinning, the Schenectady, N.Y., housewife who, over the course of 14 years, just kept ferrying her kids to the hospital, and collecting flowers at their funerals, until she was eventually found to have killed nine of them.

"She was a predator," journalist Patricia Pearson writes of Tinning. "Had she been a man, she might have been a particularly ruthless entrepreneur, an organized criminal, a serial rapist. But she was a woman, and she located her well-spring of power in maternity."

For Pearson, the author of a provocative new book called "When She was Bad: Violent Women and the Myth of Innocence," the mystery of how these women eluded suspicion is really no mystery at all. It helped that they were accomplished liars. It helped that medical science had settled on the SIDS-in-families explanation. It helped that the kind of crimes they committed were rare (though perhaps less rare than we think; some researchers now say that 5 to 10 percent of the 3,200 SIDS cases reported each year in the U.S. should be considered suspicious). But above all, argues Pearson, these women got away with their crimes for years because so few of us are willing to acknowledge that women are as capable of cool and calculating brutality as men are.

"Violence," Pearson writes, "is still universally considered to be the province of the male. Violence is masculine. Men are the cause of it, and women and children are the ones who suffer." The conventional wisdom, born of old-fashioned paternalism and new-fashioned feminist essentialism, holds that when women maim or kill, they do so only from the cringing posture of a battered wife or on orders from an unhinged boyfriend. Or, like Jean Harris, who murdered her diet-doctor boyfriend, or Susan Smith, who murdered her two little boys, they were really intending to commit suicide and somehow "found themselves" killing others instead. Either way, they manage to keep some saving drapery of innocence and haplessness, even of victimhood.

For those of you who have suffered at the hands of a psychopath or narcissist you probably already know this so it is not anything new for you. I think most of us just do not think about females doing things like this. It does not even enter our minds.


Consider what a colleague related to me. She stated that every time she has gone to the doctor for an examination if the doctor was male there was always another person in the room with him also. But when the doctor has been another woman the doctor has always been alone. Why do you think that is?

Another installment of the weekly article roundup:


Des Moines, IA-A 37-year-old Indianola mother is in custody, charged with multiple counts of sexual abuse after police learned she was having a relationship with a 15-year-old boy. Police arrested Shannon Rew after a tipster told police she was having a relationship with the teen.

Officials say Rew posed as a juvenile and began contacting the teen via text message after a relationship between the boy and her daughter ended. After a week she revealed her true identity and a physical relationship began. "The 15-year-old did admit to having on roughly 12 occasions contact which was sexual in nature," says Sgt. Scott Dwyer with Indianola Police. - Read the entire article here


BARSTOW - Police arrested Esther Edwards, 32, on suspicion of cruelty to a child and assault with a deadly weapon Wednesday evening on the 2000 block of Lassen Court, after an unidentified person called to report possible child abuse.

Officers found that Edwards’ 16-year-old daughter had serious injuries, and witnesses said that Edwards had assaulted her, according to a Barstow Police Department report. The girl was taken to Barstow Community Hospital and later transferred to Loma Linda Medical Center for monitoring. - Read the entire article here


FRESNO - A Fresno woman is behind bars, after being charged with more than 100 counts of fraud.

Fresno police arrested Rosa Gonzalez who they say targeted Hispanic people from Kern to Merced Counties, taking several of them for thousands of dollars. She used the business name Fresno Financial. - Read the entire article here


FL - An O'Brien woman was arrested on charges of aggravated battery and domestic violence Sept. 11 in connection with a stabbing in Branford.

According to sheriff's reports, White, in the driver's seat of a car at the intersection of Senter Street and Suwannee Avenue, stabbed the victim, who was in the passenger seat, with a kitchen knife in the chest.

White reportedly told sheriff's deputy David Allen that the victim had pulled her hair and attempted to choke her. - Read the entire article here


Taylor, TX - An argument over the volume of a television led to the arrest of a 63-year-old woman for allegedly stabbing a man in the neck this past weekend.

The assault charge marks Troutz’s second arrest in less than a month. She was arrested confined in Williamson County Jail for a week after an arrest Aug. 21 for reportedly making a terrorist threat.

It is her second arrest for felony assault charge in Williamson County. She was arrested in 2000 and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Troutz was arrested in 2003 on charges of parole violation and misdemeanor assault, in 2004 on charges of theft and misdemeanor assault, in 2005 for an alleged misdemeanor assault and in 2006 on charges of forgery. - Read the entire article here


ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - A 31-year-old woman is accused of having sex with a 16-year-old and recording video and snapping pictures with her cell phone, according to Orange County Sheriff's Office.

Stacey Sheldon of Apopka was arrested Tuesday on charges of sexual activity and use of a child in a sexual performance. She told investigators that it was her idea to video tape their encounter with her phone, according to the arrest report. - Read the entire article here


POCATELLO - A Pocatello woman was arrested Tuesday after she got into a fight with her former roommate.

Pocatello Police Lieutenant Ken Lynn says 36-year-old Tawny King was taken into custody after a physical fight broke out and King allegedly hit her former roommate in the head with a bottle causing injuries. - Read the entire article here


Chennai, Sep 18 (IANS) A 30-year-old woman was arrested here Tuesday for killing her domestic help by setting her on fire, police said.

Priya Ram, the wife of a financier, allegedly doused 40-year-old Parameshwari Narayanamurthy with kerosene and set her ablaze Monday. The maid servant had apparently refused refused to return Rs.15,000 she had borrowed, police said. - Read the entire article here


Linwood, Kan. - A woman was arrested Monday morning in Lawrence after she allegedly beat a man in rural Linwood and fled Leavenworth County authorities, according to a report from the sheriff’s office.

The 29-year-old Lawrence woman allegedly kicked a 40-year-old man in the head, back and chest. The incident was said to have occurred at the victim’s residence, according to the report. - Read the entire article here


SANFORD, FLA - A 33-year-old Florida woman has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for having sex with a five-year-old boy.

Kelly Lumadue was convicted following a jury trial of having sex with the boy 12 years ago when she was 21. - Read the entire article here


PROVO — Police arrested an Orem woman who allegedly pinned her ex-husband between a minivan and a police car Thursday, then beat him, first with a binder and then with a tire iron.

According to police reports, the 26-year-old woman spotted her ex-husband, with whom she is fighting for custody of the couple's daughter, in Springville. She followed him and when he stopped at the Provo police station, she struck him with a minivan, pinning him against a police car.

The woman then beat him with a binder, police said. When the binder wasn't having the desired effect, she retrieved a tire iron from the back of the minivan and began to hit him. - Read the entire article here


BRIGHTON, TN- A Tipton county woman has been arrested in the death of her four year old daughter.

Amber Nicole Swayne of Brighton, Tennessee faces charges of aggravated child abuse and felony murder. Investigators say on July 17, 2008, the little girl's mother brought her to Baptist Memorial Hospital-Tipton. Doctors determined that the girl had severe burns on over 40 percent her body. She was taken to LeBonheur Children's Hospital in Memphis and then to Shriner's Hospital for Children in Cincinnati, Ohio. The child died at the hospital several days later. - Read the entire article here


CANADA - Waterloo Regional Police tactical officers used pepper spray to end a 14 hour standoff with a young woman believed to be armed with a gun.

It started at about 9:15 p.m. Wednesday when Oxford police received a call about a woman with a gun. The woman was out on bail for a trafficking offence, known to be violent, and prohibited from being in Woodstock, said Const. Laurie Ann Maitland. - Read the entire article here


HONESDALE — A Browndale woman was sentenced Friday to two to five years in a state prison for burning her infant son and framing the boy’s father after being found guilty in a July jury trial.

Susan Marie Pevec, of Browndale, was convicted July 21 of endangering the welfare of a child, simple assault, intercepting an oral communication, two counts of filing false reports, and two counts of criminal conspiracy to commit simple assault. - Read the entire article here


MACON, GA - A woman convicted of cruelty to children in the second degree was sentenced Thursday morning to serve three years in prison followed by five years on probation.

Aug. 13, a Bibb County jury found 26-year-old Koi Herring guilty of fracturing her 4-month-old son's skull and causing permanent brain damage. - Read the entire article here



MELBOURNE, Australia - A married American woman who had an affair with a 15-year-old boy she met online and flew to join in Australia was convicted Tuesday of sex with a minor, but freed from jail and told she could return home. Barbara Case, 37, from Lyndhurst, Virginia, pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual penetration of a child under 16 and was sentenced to 16 months in jail.

But Judge Tim Wood suspended her sentence for two years, saying that if she committed another offense within that time she would have to serve her sentence. He said he thought Case was unlikely to re-offend. - Read the entire article here


JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - It took a Duval County jury only 45 minutes to reject claims that Brenda Coney was insane when she killed the pharmacy manager at Shands-Jacksonville Medical Center and to find her guilty of first-degree murder. McCants, 37, was the mother of two and was pregnant with another child. - Read the entire article here


MARIETTA, Ga. - A woman hired to care for a 63-year-old disabled woman has been sentenced to life in prison for killing her with a diet of weight-loss shakes, soda and a prescription drug.

A Cobb County Superior Court judge on Friday also ordered 43-year-old Madonna Whitus to undergo psychiatric evaluation and treatment. According to court testimony, while Durant was dying, Whitus tried to deposit a $55,000 check from Durant into her own account. - Read the entire article here


TUCSON, Ariz. — A jury has convicted a 19-year-old woman of first-degree murder for stabbing her roommate to death in their University of Arizona dorm room. Prosecutors say Galareka Harrison stabbed Mia Henderson 23 times with a knife that she had bought before the attack on Sept. 5, 2007. - Read the entire article here


U.K. - A 72-year-old woman has been convicted of assaulting her neighbour who had his arm broken by a spade in a row about a boundary fence.

She was alleged during the trial to have attacked her 62-year-old neighbour who lived two doors away on Hesketh Lane, Tarleton as he was discussing the moving of a six foot fence with a contractor.

The contractor said he saw the spade being swung "like an axe man" at the head of her neighbour. Mr Grundy managed to put his arm up to deflect the blow but suffered a fracture which was in plaster for three months.

Iddon has in the past been convicted of common assault against the contractor and received a conditional discharge. - Read the entire article here


OTTAWA - An Ottawa woman found guilty of forcing her young daughter to fondle her boyfriend over a period of five years has been ordered to undergo a sexual behaviour assessment before being sentenced.

The woman, whose name is prohibited from publication to protect the identity of the victim, was found guilty of invitation to sexual touching in August after court heard she had her daughter masturbate her boyfriend until he ejaculated. The man, who has suffered from mental illness, admitted to hospital staff that the couple had engaged in sexual activity with his girlfriend's daughter, who was between five and nine years old at the time of the incidents. - Read the entire article here


JEWETT CITY, Conn. — Court documents show that moments before a Jewett City toddler fatally shot himself, his mother warned him not to touch his father's gun because of the "bad boo boos" it could cause.

An arrest affidavit details how 2-year-old Wyatt Matteau grabbed the gun from a nightstand and shot himself in the eye while his mother was in the bathroom. - Read the entire article here


ST. PETERSBURG — Cynthia Calleia knew that her 9-year-old daughter had serious problems. She admitted trying to suffocate one brother. And she heard voices telling her to kill her mommy. Still, investigators say Calleia left her youngest son, 4-month-old Antoine Powell Jr., alone with the girl.

In March, the 9-year-old dropped her brother on the floor and heard a loud crack. Another sister dragged him by the arm "like a doll." He wound up with a broken arm, leg and five fractured ribs. His mother waited to take him to the hospital, and he died on April 15.

Calleia used the Baker Act in 2003 to temporarily institutionalize the girl after she caught her shaking her other baby brother back and forth. When she asked her daughter what she was doing, the girl answered "I'm killing my brother." - Read the entire article here

This article comes from ScienceDaily:

ScienceDaily (July 29, 2008)

By the age of 18 years, two in every five South African schoolboys report being forced to have sex, mostly by female perpetrators. A new study, reported in BioMed Central's open access journal International Journal for Equity in Health, reveals the shocking truth about endemic sexual abuse of male children that has been suspected but until now only poorly documented.

Neil Andersson and Ari Ho-Foster, of the CIET trust in Johannesburg, carried out the research in 1,200 schools across the country at the end of 2002. According to Andersson "This study sought to document the prevalence of sexual violence among school-going males. We found a marked difference between the provinces of South Africa, with the least economically developed province, Limpopo, suffering the highest rates and the most developed area, Western Cape, the lowest". There were also systematic differences between rural and urban areas in frequency and type of perpetrator.

Some 28% of victims said a non-family member or teacher was the perpetrator. Another 28% had been forced by a fellow student, while 20% had been abused by a teacher and 18% by an adult family member.

The authors warn that "the likely consequence of all this for South African society is the multiplication of sexual abuse, since it is well established that people who have been sexually abused are more likely to become abusers themselves. One in ten schoolboys who took part in the study admitted they had forced sex on someone else".

The authors pointed out that until to 2007, forced sex with male children in South Africa did not count as rape, but as 'indecent assault', a much less serious offence. They welcomed the change in legislation as a very necessary first step, but they said that "this is far more than a legal issue", and suggested bringing it to the open and raising awareness among South Africans. "Most of all," says Andersson, "the rape of children calls for decisive investment in prevention. Reducing overall sexual violence will likely also pay dividends in reduction of HIV/AIDS."

The authors also observed that, "as it becomes more acceptable for male children to report sexual abuse, we have to expect a massive increase in workload for help services like Childline. They will need support to meet this demand".

BioMed Central (2008, July 29). South African Epidemic Of Schoolboy Sexual Abuse. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 3, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2008/07/080728192809.htm

A quick note here is some more information from that study:

Some 32% said the perpetrator was male, 41% said she was female and 27% said they had been forced to have sex by both male and female perpetrators. Male abuse of schoolboys was more common in rural areas while female perpetration was more an urban phenomenon.

I wanted to post this article where 2 children are accusing their mother of molesting them previously. I read things like this and wonder. Often the alleged victim is some poor victimized woman who the defense attorney is going after. In this instance it is a man and a woman (brother and sister).


The day after a 20-year-old Woodbury man testified that his mother molested him as a child, her defense lawyer tried to show that the son made up the story out of spite over a bitter divorce and custody battle.

"You blamed your mom for your dad leaving, didn't you?" defense lawyer Kevin Keating said in Nassau County Court in Mineola Friday.

"Yes," the young man answered calmly. "She was pretty crazy."

The 53-year-old mother of three is being tried on charges that she molested two of her children over several years when they were young. Newsday is not naming her to avoid identifying the children.

The woman, who lived with her children in Syosset and now lives in Seaford, has been charged with three counts of second-degree course of sexual conduct against a child and second-degree sexual abuse. Her children are now 17, 20 and 24.

Keating, of Garden City, has said that the son and his younger sister were convinced to falsely accuse their mother of molesting them during a vicious custody battle between their parents after their 1998 divorce.

Friday, Keating recalled a night when the boy was 12 when he threatened suicide if he had to stay at his mother's house instead of being allowed to go to his father's house. His mother sent him for overnight evaluation at a mental hospital rather than allowing him to return to his father's, which deeply angered him, according to his testimony.

Keating also questioned the man about an inconsistency in his testimony: He now claims that he was molested nearly every day from ages 6 to 11, but in 2004, he signed a police statement that said he was molested about once a week from ages 6 to 8, according to his testimony. - Read the entire article here

I just wanted to do a brief post about Cluster B Personality Disorders and the expectation of them changing there behaviors.

Personality disorders and Mental Retardation are coded on Axis II while all the others, such as Bipolar, ADHD, are coded on Axis I. There is a reason for this and it may be obvious just from seeing the two together like that.

Mental Retardation and Personality disorders are pervasive and permanent. Expecting a psychopath or a narcissist to change is much like expecting someone with MR to stop being MR. Does anyone really expect that? No.

Dr. Liane J. Leedom, M.D. and Sandra Brown M.A., makes this very point in their book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, when they say the following:

One other type of pervasive (which means "no way to change it") disorder is mental retardation. Both mental retardation and personality disorders are permanent. No one expects the mentally retarded to overcome being mentally retarded. Yet, women consistently think one day a permanently and pervasively personality-disordered psychopath will suddenly not be that. He can no more undo his disorder than a mentally retarded person.


And they are right. The psychopath and narcissist make it a point that it is not their problem, they don't have a problem, the problem is someone else's fault. Always.

And people with Cluster B personality disorders may end up in counseling but usually do so because they have been forced in one way or another. They may even temporarily try to act differently but that is all it is, an act to get someone off their backs and to draw out that false hope of change.

Dr. Leedom and Ms. Brown makes an especially chilling statement for those of you that think you are involved with a psychopath or narcissist. Again from her book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, is this:


Why don't people with personality disorders get better?

The fact is people with personality disorders are incurable and only minimally treatable. Treatment largely consists of teaching them socially appropriate behavior. A women will say, "He was diagnosed narcissistic and I am just waiting for him to change or 'get it' about his behavior." We hope she has a lot of time to wait, because, by the nature of what is wrong with him, he is hard-wired to resist change. Even the best treatment will not turn him into the loving man she wants.

This applies to both genders. I would recommend Women Who Love Psychopaths to everyone. There is a lot of good information contained in this book and one very nice feature is the plain language explanations they have written.

This is the second article in the series written by Joseph M Carver, Ph.D., Psychologist. I wanted to post something to help people before they might get snared into an abusive relationship or for those that suspect they are already in one.




Introduction

Very few relationships start on terms other than sweetness and politeness. In the beginning, "the honeymoon" of the relationship, it's difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating. Both you and the date are guarded, trying to obtain information about the other as much as possible without seeming like a police detective.

Romantic relationships can be wonderful with the right person. A relationship with the wrong individual however can lead to years of heartache, emotional/social damage, and even physical damage. A damaging adult partner can damage us, damage our loved ones, and even damage the way we feel about love and romance in the future. They can turn what is supposed to be a loving, supporting, and understanding relationship into the "fatal attraction" often described in movies. There are a variety of "bad choices" that may be encountered each week - most of which are easily to identify and avoid. We all know to avoid people that appear insane or abusive and not select them as a dating partner. However, some individuals are better at hiding their personality and behavior abnormalities. In an effort to provide some warning about these very damaging individuals, this paper will outline a type of individual commonly found in the dating scene, a male or female labeled "The Loser".

"The Loser" is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship. "The Loser" has permanent personality characteristics that create this damage. These are characteristics that they accept simply as the way they are and not a problem or psychological difficulty. In one sense, they have always lived with this personality and behavior, often something they probably learned from their relatives/family. Psychologists usually treat the victims of "The Loser", women or men who arrive at the office severely depressed with their self-confidence and self-esteem totally destroyed.

The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of "The Loser" and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically. If your partner possesses even one of these features, there is risk in the relationship. More than three of these indicators and you are involved with "The Loser" in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you. When a high number of these features are present - it's not a probably or possibility. You will be hurt and damaged by "The Loser" if you stay in the relationship.

1. Rough Treatment "The Loser" will hurt you on purpose. If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property EVEN ONCE, drop them. Male losers often begin with behaviors that move you physically or hit the wall. Female losers often slap, kick and even punch their male partners when upset.

2. Quick Attachment and Expression "The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to "The Loser" is how quickly he or she says "I Love You" or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you'll hear that you're the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You'll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the "honeymoon phase" - where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember the business saying "If it's too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!" You may be so overwhelmed by this display of instant attraction, instant commitment, and instant planning for the future that you'll miss the major point - it doesn't make sense!! Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment - not three weeks. It's true that we can become infatuated with others quickly - but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause "The Loser" to detach from you as quickly as they committed. "The Loser" typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship.

3. Frightening Temper "The Loser" has a scary temper. If your boyfriend or girlfriend blows up and does dangerous things, like driving too fast because they're mad, breaking/throwing things, getting into fights, or threatening others - that temper will soon be turned in your direction. In the beginning of the relationship, you will be exposed to "witnessed violence" - fights with others, threats toward others, angry outbursts at others, etc. You will also hear of violence in their life. You will see and witness this temper - throwing things, yelling, cursing, driving fast, hitting the walls, and kicking things. That quickly serves to intimidate you and fear their potential for violence, although "The Loser" quickly assures you that they are angry at others or situations, not at you. At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you - but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability - and that it might come your way. Later, you fear challenging or confronting them - fearing that same temper and violence will be turned in your direction.

4. Killing Your Self-Confidence "The Loser" repeatedly puts you down. They constantly correct your slight mistakes, making you feel "on guard", unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong. They tell you that you're too fat, too unattractive, or don't talk correctly or look well. This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly - as though you deserved it. In public, you will be "walking on eggshells" - always fearing you are doing or saying something that will later create a temper outburst or verbal argument.

5. Cutting Off Your Support In order to control someone completely, you must cut off their supportive friends - sometimes even their family. "The Loser" feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior. "The Loser" begins by telling you these friends treat you badly, take advantage of you, and don't understand the special nature of the love you share with them. In some cases, if they can't get rid of your best same-sex friend, "The Loser" will claim he or she made a pass at them. If you talk to your friends or family, "The Loser" will punish you by asking multiple questions or making nasty accusations. Eventually, rather than face the verbal punishment, interrogation, and abuse, you'll develop the feeling that it's better not to talk to family and friends. You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you. "The Loser" then tells you they are treating you badly again and you'd be better to keep your distance from them. Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase.

6. The Mean and Sweet Cycle "The Loser" cycles from mean to sweet and back again. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow "The Loser" to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. "The Loser" often apologizes but the damage to your self-esteem is already done - exactly as planned.

7. It's Always Your Fault "The Loser" blames you for their anger as well as any other behavior that is incorrect. When they cheat on you, yell at you, treat you badly, damage your property, or embarrass you publicly - it's somehow your fault. If you are ten minutes late for a date, it's your fault that the male loser drives 80 miles per hour, runs people off the road, and pouts the rest of the evening. "The Loser" tells you their anger and misbehavior would not have happened if you had not made some simple mistake, had loved them more, or had not questioned their behavior. "The Loser" never, repeat "never", takes personal responsibility for their behavior - it's always the fault of someone else. If they drive like a maniac and try to pull an innocent driver off the highway to assault them - it's actually the fault of the other driver (not his) as they didn't use a turn signal when they changed lanes. They give you the impression that you had it (anger, yelling, assault) coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression.

8. Breakup Panic "The Loser" panics at the idea of breaking up - unless it's totally their idea - then you're dropped like a hot rock. Abusive boyfriends often break down and cry, they plead, they promise to change, and they offer marriage/trips/gifts when you threaten ending the relationship. Both male and female losers may threaten suicide, threaten to return to old sweethearts (who feel lucky they're gone!), or threaten to quit their job and leave the area - as though you will be responsible for those decisions. "The Loser" offers a multitude of "deals" and halfway measures, like "Let's just date one more month!"

They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of - telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope you'll keep them so they don't have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers! Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again (making you a prisoner) and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. Once back in the grasp of "The Loser" - escape will be three times as difficult the next time.

9. No Outside Interests "The Loser" will encourage you to drop your hobbies, interests, and involvement with others. If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity. The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control.

10. Paranoid Control "The Loser" will check up on you and keep track of where you are and who you are with. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. If you don't answer their phone call, you are ask where you were, what were you doing, who you were talking to, etc. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth. Some losers follow you to the grocery, then later ask if you've been there in an attempt to catch you in a lie. In severe cases, they go through your mail, look through your purse/wallet, hit your redial on the phone when they arrive, or search through your garbage for evidence. High-tech losers may encourage you to make "private" calls to friends from their residence, calls that are being secretly taped for later reference. They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public. Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. If no date is present on Friday night - "The Loser" will inform you that they will call you that night - sometime. That effectively keeps you home, awaiting the call, fearing the verbal abuse and questions you might receive if you weren't home for the call. This technique allows "The Loser" to do what they want socially, at the same time controlling your behavior from a distance or a local bar.

11. Public Embarrassment In an effort to keep you under control while in public, "The Loser" will lash out at you, call you names, or say cruel or embarrassing things about you in private or in front of people. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. If you stay with "The Loser" too long, you'll soon find yourself politely smiling, saying nothing, and holding on to their arm when in public. You'll also find yourself walking with your head down, fearful of seeing a friend who might speak to you and create an angry reaction in "The Loser".

12. It's Never Enough "The Loser" convinces you that you are never quite good enough. You don't say "I love you" enough, you don't stand close enough, you don't do enough for them after all their sacrifices, and your behavior always falls short of what is expected. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them - somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you.

13. Entitlement "The Loser" has a tremendous sense of entitlement, the attitude that they have a perfectly logical right to do whatever they desire. If cut off in traffic, "The Loser" feels they have the right to run the other driver off the road, assault them, and endanger the lives of other drivers with their temper tantrum. Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit.

14. Your Friends and Family Dislike Him As the relationship continues, your friends and family will see what "The Loser" is doing to you. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. They will protest. "The Loser" will tell you they are jealous of the "special love" you have and then use their protest and opinion as further evidence that they are against you - not him. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them - eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members. "The Loser" will be jealous and threatened by anyone you are close to - even your children. In some cases, your parents or brothers/sisters will not be allowed to visit your home.

15. Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves. It's the old story about giving a person enough rope and they'll hang themselves. The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you. A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. "The Loser" tells stories of violence, aggression, being insensitive to others, rejecting others, etc. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person. They brag about their temper and outbursts because they don't see anything wrong with violence and actually take pride in the "I don't take nothing from nobody" attitude. People define themselves with their stories, much like a culture is described by it's folklore and legends. Listen to these stories - they tell you how you will eventually be treated and what's coming your way.

16. The Waitress Test It's been said that when dating, the way an individual treats a waitress or other neutral person of the opposite sex is the way they will treat you in six months. During the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, you will be treated like a king or queen. However, during that time "The Loser" has not forgotten how he or she basically feels about the opposite sex. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly. If they are cheap - you'll never receive anything once the honeymoon is over. If they whine, complain, criticize, and torment - that's how they'll treat you in six months. A mentally healthy person is consistent, they treat almost all people the same way all the time. If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt - hit the road.

17. The Reputation As mentioned, mentally healthy individuals are consistent in their personality and their behavior. "The Loser" may have two distinct reputations - a group of individuals who will give you glowing reports and a group that will warn you that they are serious trouble. If you ask ten people about a new restaurant - five say it's wonderful and five say it's a hog pit - you clearly understand that there's some risk involved in eating there. "The Loser" may actually brag about their reputation as a "butt kicker", "womanizer", "hot temper" or "being crazy". They may tell you stories where other's have called them crazy or suggested that they receive professional help. Pay attention to the reputation. Reputation is the public perception of an individual's behavior. If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high. You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship. With severe behavior problems, "The Loser" will be found to have almost no friends, just acquaintances. Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly. If you find yourself disliking the friends of "The Loser", it's because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them.

18. Walking on Eggshells As a relationship with "The Loser" continues, you will gradually be exposed to verbal intimidation, temper tantrums, lengthy interrogations about trivial matters, violence/threats directed at others but witnessed by you, paranoid preoccupation with your activities, and a variety of put-downs on your character. You will quickly find yourself "walking on eggshells" in their presence - fearful to bring up topics, fearful to mention that you spoke to or saw a friend, and fearful to question or criticize the behavior of "The Loser". Instead of experiencing the warmth and comfort of love, you will be constantly on edge, tense when talking to others (they might say something that you'll have to explain later), and fearful that you'll see someone you'll have to greet in public. Dates and times together will be more comfortable and less threatening when totally alone - exactly what "The Loser" wants - no interference with their control or dominance.

19. Discounted Feelings/Opinions "The Loser" is so self-involved and self-worshiping that the feelings and opinions of others are considered worthless. As the relationship continues and you begin to question what you are feeling or seeing in their behavior, you will be told that your feelings and opinions don't make sense, they're silly, and that you are emotionally disturbed to even think of such things. "The Loser" has no interest in your opinion or your feelings - but they will be disturbed and upset that you dare question their behavior. "The Loser" is extremely hostile toward criticism and often reacts with anger or rage when their behavior is questioned.

20. They Make You "Crazy" "The Loser" operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing "crazy" things in self-defense. If "The Loser" is scheduled to arrive at 8:00 pm - you call Time & Temperature to cover the redial, check your garbage for anything that might get you in trouble, and call your family and friends to tell them not to call you that night. You warn family/friends not to bring up certain topics, avoid locations in the community where you might see co-workers or friends, and not speak to others for fear of the 20 questions. You become paranoid as well - being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. While we think we are "going crazy" - it's important to remember that there is no such thing as "normal behavior" in a combat situation. Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from "The Loser" before permanent psychological damage is done.

Dangerous Versions of "The Loser"

There are more severe if not dangerous versions of "The Loser" that have been identified over the years. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself.

Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving - shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. That quickly moves into verbal threats with physical gestures - the finger in the face, clinched fist in the face, and voiced physical threats such as "You make me want to break your face!" Eventually, these combine to form actual physical abuse - hitting, slapping, and kicking. "The Loser" is always sorry the next day and begins the mean-then-sweet cycle all over again. Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies. Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault. If the female loser is bruised in the process of self-protection, as when physically restraining her from hitting, those bruises are then "displayed" to others as evidence of what a bad person the partner is and how abusive they have been in the relationship.

Psychotic Losers There are losers that are severely ill in a psychiatric sense - the movie description of the "Fatal Attraction". Some may tell you wild stories and try to convince you that they are connected to The Mob or a government agency (CIA, FBI, etc.). They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. They intimidate and frighten you with comments such as "I can have anyone killed..." or "No one leaves a relationship with me...". If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger. People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation. While such fears are unrealistic as "The Loser" is only interested in controlling you, those fears feel very real when combined with the other characteristics of "The Loser".

Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date. Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults. If you are recently divorced, separated, or recently ended another relationship, "The Loser" may be intimidating toward your ex-partner, fearing you might return if the other partner is not "scared off". Just remember - everything "The Loser" has ever done to anyone will be coming your way. "The Loser" may send you pictures of you, your children, or your family - pictures they have taken secretly - hinting that they can "reach out and touch" those you love. You may need help and legal action to separate from these individuals.

Guidelines for Detachment

Separating from "The Loser" often involves three stages: The Detachment, Ending the Relationship, and the Follow-up Protection.

The Detachment

During this part of separating from "The Loser", you recognize what you must do and create an Exit Plan. Many individuals fail in attempts to detach from "The Loser" because they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources. In many cases, "The Loser" has isolated their partner from others, has control of finances, or has control of major exit needs such as an automobile. During the detachment phase you should...

- Observe the way you are treated. Watch for the methods listed above and see how "The Loser" works.

- Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions. The goal is almost to bore "The Loser" to lessen the emotional attachment, at the same time not creating a situation which would make you a target.

- Quietly contact your family and supportive others. Determine what help they might be - a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc.

- If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options such as a restraining order.

- If "The Loser" is destructive, slowly move your valuables from the home if together, or try to recover valuables if in their possession. In many cases, you may lose some personal items during your detachment - a small price to pay to get rid of "The Loser".

- Stop arguing, debating or discussing issues. Stop defending and explaining yourself - responding with comments such as "I've been so confused lately" or "I'm under so much stress I don't know why I do anything anymore".

- Begin dropping hints that you are depressed, burned out, or confused about life in general. Remember - "The Loser" never takes responsibility for what happens in any relationship. "The Loser" will feel better about leaving the relationship if they can blame it on you. Many individuals are forced to "play confused" and dull, allowing "The Loser" to tell others "My girlfriend (or boyfriend) about half nuts!" They may tell others you're crazy or confused but you'll be safer. Allow them to think anything they want about you as long as you're in the process of detaching.

- Don't start another relationship. That will only complicate your situation and increase the anger. Your best bet is to "lay low" for several months. Remember, "The Loser" will quickly locate another victim and become instantly attached as long as the focus on you is allowed to die down.

- As "The Loser" starts to question changes in your behavior, admit confusion, depression, emotionally numbness, and a host of other boring reactions. This sets the foundation for the ending of the relationship.

Ending the Relationship

Remembering that "The Loser" doesn't accept responsibility, responds with anger to criticism, and is prone to panic detachment reactions - ending the relationship continues the same theme as the detachment.

- Explain that you are emotionally numb, confused, and burned out. You can't feel anything for anybody and you want to end the relationship almost for his or her benefit. Remind them that they've probably noticed something is wrong and that you need time to sort out your feelings and fix whatever is wrong with you. As disgusting as it may seem, you may have to use a theme of "I'm not right for anyone at this point in my life." If "The Loser" can blame the end on you, as they would if they ended the relationship anyway, they will depart faster.

- If "The Loser" panics, you'll receive a shower of phone calls, letters, notes on your car, etc. React to each in the same manner - a boring thanks. If you overreact or give in, you've lost control again.

- Focus on your need for time away from the situation. Don't agree to the many negotiations that will be offered - dating less frequently, dating only once a week, taking a break for only a week, going to counseling together, etc. As long as "The Loser" has contact with you they feel there is a chance to manipulate you.

- "The Loser" will focus on making you feel guilty. In each phone contact you'll hear how much you are loved, how much was done for you, and how much they have sacrificed for you. At the same time, you'll hear about what a bum you are for leading them on, not giving them an opportunity to fix things, and embarrassing them by ending the relationship.

- Don't try to make them understand how you feel - it won't happen. "The Loser" only is concerned with how they feel - your feelings are irrelevant. You will be wasting your time trying to make them understand and they will see the discussions as an opportunity to make you feel more guilty and manipulate you.

- Don't fall for sudden changes in behavior or promises of marriage, trips, gifts, etc. By this time you have already seen how "The Loser" is normally and naturally. While anyone can change for a short period of time, they always return to their normal behavior once the crisis is over.

- Seek professional counseling for yourself or the support of others during this time. You will need encouragement and guidance. Keep in mind, if "The Loser" finds out you are seeking help they will criticize the counseling, the therapist, or the effort.

- Don't use terms like "someday", "maybe", or "in the future". When "The Loser" hears such possibilities, they think you are weakening and will increase their pressure.

- Imagine a dead slot machine. If we are in Las Vegas at a slot machine and pull the handle ten times and nothing happens - we move on to another machine. However, if on the tenth time the slot machine pays us even a little, we keep pulling the handle - thinking the jackpot is on the way. If we are very stern and stable about the decision to end the relationship over many days, then suddenly offer a possibility or hope for reconciliation - we've given a little pay and the pressure will continue. Never change your position - always say the same thing. "The Loser" will stop playing a machine that doesn't pay off and quickly move to another.

Follow-up Protection

"The Loser" never sees their responsibility or involvement in the difficulties in the relationship. From a psychological standpoint, "The Loser" has lived and behaved in this manner most of their life, clearly all of their adult life. As they really don't see themselves at fault or as an individual with a problem, "The Loser" tends to think that the girlfriend or boyfriend is simply going through a phase - their partner (victim) might be temporarily mixed up or confused, they might be listening to the wrong people, or they might be angry about something and will get over it soon. "The Loser" rarely detaches completely and will often try to continue contact with the partner even after the relationship is terminated. During the Follow-up Protection period, some guidelines are:

- Never change your original position. It's over permanently! Don't talk about possible changes in your position in the future. You might think that will calm "The Loser" but it only tells them that the possibilities still exist and only a little more pressure is needed to return to the relationship.

- Don't agree to meetings or reunions to discuss old times. For "The Loser", discussing old times is actually a way to upset you, put you off guard, and use the guilt to hook you again.

- Don't offer details about your new life or relationships. Assure him that both his life and your life are now private and that you hope they are happy.

- If you start feeling guilty during a phone call, get off the phone fast. More people return to bad marriages and relationships due to guilt than anything else. If you listen to those phone calls, as though taping them, you'll find "The Loser" spends most of the call trying to make you feel guilty.

- In any contact with the ex "Loser", provide only a status report, much like you'd provide to your Aunt Gladys. For example: "I'm still working hard and not getting any better at tennis. That's about it."

- When "The Loser" tells you how difficult the breakup has been, share with him some general thoughts about breaking-up and how finding the right person is difficult. While "The Loser" wants to focus on your relationship, talk in terms of Ann Landers - "Well, breaking up is hard on anyone. Dating is tough in these times. I'm sure we'll eventually find someone that's right for both of us." Remember - nothing personal!

- Keep all contact short and sweet - the shorter the better. As far as "The Loser" is concerned, you're always on your way somewhere, there's something in the microwave, or your mother is walking up the steps to your home. Wish "The Loser" well but always with the same tone of voice that you might offer to someone you have just talked to at the grocery store. For phone conversations, electronic companies make a handy gadget that produces about twenty sounds - a doorbell, an oven or microwave alarm, a knock on the door, etc. That little device is handy to use on the phone - the microwave dinner just came out or someone is at the door. Do whatever you have to do to keep the conversation short - and not personal.

Summary

In all of our relationships throughout life, we will meet a variety of individuals with many different personalities. Some are a joy to have in our life and some provide us with life-long love and security. Others we meet pose some risk to us and our future due to their personality and attitudes. Both in medicine and mental health - the key to health is the early identification and treatment of problems - before they reach the point that they are beyond treatment. In years of psychotherapy and counseling practice, treating the victims of "The Loser", patterns of attitude and behavior emerge in "The Loser" that can now be listed and identified in the hopes of providing early identification and warning. When those signs and indicators surface and the pattern is identified, we must move quickly to get away from the situation. Continuing a relationship with "The Loser" will result in a relationship that involves intimidation, fear, angry outbursts, paranoid control, and a total loss of your self-esteem and self-confidence.

If you have been involved in a long-term relationship with "The Loser", after you successfully escape you may notice that you have sustained some psychological damage that will require professional repair. In many cases, the stress has been so severe that you may have a stress-produced depression. You may have severe damage to your self-confidence/self-esteem or to your feelings about the opposite sex or relationships. Psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and counselors are available in your community to assist and guide you as you recover from your damaging relationship with "The Loser".

Credit: This handout was written by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., a Clinical Psychologist. It is provided as a public service and can be reproduced as needed. Dr. Carver is in private practice in Southern Ohio.

Just the weekly article round up. I have started to add more stories that are less violent and more along the lines of extortion, fraud, etc.


UNION, Mo. - The woman who kidnapped a newborn girl two years ago was sentenced to 30 years in prison today for her crimes as the judge ignored her family's pleas for mercy.

In a packed courtroom in Franklin County, Shannon Torrez, 38, got the sentence recommended by prosecutors for the September 2006 kidnapping of Abby, the one-week-old daughter of Stephenie Ochsenbine.

Torrez had showed up at the woman's rural home asking to use the phone and bathroom.

She pointed a pistol at Ochsenbine, stabbed her and tied up her and her one-year-old son. Torrez then took seven-day-old baby Abby. Police tracked down Torrez five days later. Abby was recovered alive and well. - Read the entire article here



HEMET - A Hemet woman is behind bars Saturday in Texas, awaiting extradition back to California on charges of beating and robbing her 94-year-old grandmother in Hemet, authorities said.

April Courtney, 34, is accused of striking her 94-year-old grandmother repeatedly with a metal cane on Sept. 3 before she fled to Texas, according to Hemet police Detective Jeff Dill. - Read the entire article here

TOMS RIVER — A 44-year-old woman who tried to make her sister and brother-in-law sick with rodent poison because they wouldn't let her see her dog was sentenced to three years' probation this morning.

Dana Simmons was given credit for the 534 days she has served in the Ocean County Jail since she was charged with the crime in November 2006. - Read the entire article here

NEW YORK - In between car pools and karate classes, Nassau prosecutors say one Syosset mother was doing unspeakable things to her three children.

The 53-year-old woman, whose trial on child molestation charges began Friday in Nassau County Court, was molesting her youngest daughter with a Barbie doll, and forcing her older children to play tug-of-war naked and then have oral sex while she watched, prosecutors said. Newsday is not naming the woman to protect her children's identities.

"What [the woman] pretended to be at PTA meetings and at her daughter's cheerleading practice was not the same person that her children knew her to be," prosecutor Stephen Antignani told jurors. - Read the entire article here


GREEN BAY — A 33-year-old Ashwaubenon woman enrolled at Ashwaubenon High School posing as her 15-year-old daughter, authorities said today. “She made at least the first day at school,” Crocker said. “She was caught because she was truant.” The woman’s daughter lives out of state, authorities said.

Ashwaubenon investigators plan to refer the woman to prosecutors and recommend charges of identity theft, forgery, criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct. The woman was arrested by Green Bay police Sept. 3 and booked into the Brown County Jail last week on an unrelated misdemeanor theft by misrepresentation charge. The details of that case were not available late today. - Read the entire article here

Salt Lake, UT - A 17-year-old mother was charged as an adult Thursday for allegedly murdering her infant son last month by breaking his back. Adrianna Lucero, who will be 18 in December, was charged in 3rd District Court with first-degree felony murder in the death of her 2-year-old son Alejandro G. Lucero, who died Aug. 24.

“The mechanism of the spinal fracture was not likely from a stomp or blow to the child's back, but was more likely a severe, bending force which bent A.L.'s lumbar spine backward and that would have taken some time to inflict, during which A.L. would have been screaming the entire time,” charging documents stated. - Read the entire article here

KANSAS CITY, MO. -- A Kansas City, Missouri, woman has been charged with child abuse after allegedly burning her children, police said on Saturday.

Latasha Lambert, 23, faces two counts of child abuse after Kansas City police responded to Children's Mercy Hospital to check out injuries to two children, ages 1 and 2. According to police, Lambert allegedly burned the children with an iron and lit cigarettes. - Read the entire article here


A young clothing store assistant has been charged with poisoning her manager with eucalyptus oil in a bizarre case of apparent workplace jealousy.

The manager, Iraqi immigrant Judy Siddawi, 27, had been running an Auckland menswear store for a couple of months when her open energy drink was allegedly poisoned by her 21-year-old assistant manager.

The two have been embroiled in conflict because Siddawi was promoted over the assistant manager, who had been with the national menswear chain for a number of years. - Read the entire article here

The search for 2-year-old James Many White Horses came to the worst possible ending Friday when police found the missing toddler dead in the trunk of a car — killed, they allege, by his mother.

Summer Many White Horses, 31, was arrested Friday afternoon on suspicion of deliberate homicide, tampering with evidence and obstructing a peace officer. She is being held at the Cascade County Detention Center.

James Many White Horses was last seen with his noncustodial mother on July 21, according to a missing-persons alert issued Thursday by the Montana Department of Justice. - Read the entire article here


A Smithfield woman was sentenced Friday to more than 18 years in prison after pleading guilty to shooting her boyfriend to death two years ago.

Tiffany Ann Bassett pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in the July 18, 2006, death of Donald "Keith" West, who was found dead in the bedroom of the home they shared. She was sentenced to 221 to 275 months in prison. - Read the entire article here


A woman was arrested Saturday on charges she stabbed her ex-boyfriend in the leg with a kitchen knife, Richland County sheriff’s deputies said. Whitney D. Howard, 20, is charged with aggravated assault, a sheriff’s department news release said. - Read the entire article here


PITTSBURGH—A Pittsburgh woman is guilty of stabbing her boyfriend to death during an argument over a cold, uneaten bagel. Allegheny County Judge John Zottola convicted 23-year-old Patrice Rogers of voluntary manslaughter in the Feb. 25 killing of her live-in boyfriend, 30-year-old Geno Crenshaw. - Read the entire article here


A Bolingbrook elementary school nurse was arrested Thursday afternoon and charged with three counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse for allegedly having sexual relations with three teen boys in 2006, officials said.

Laura J. Obzera, 49, works for Valley View Community School District 365U in Bolingbrook, police said. She is listed as a health assistant at Wood View Elementary School in Bolingbrook on the school's Web site. - Read the entire article here


GUELPH, Ont. — A conviction on a lesser charge of infanticide for a 27-year-old Guelph, Ont. woman who admitted killing her two infant sons sparked outrage from some of those gathered in a packed, emotionally-charged courtroom.

Ontario Superior Court Justice Cas Herold rendered the verdict on Thursday against the woman who admitted killing her seven-week-old son in 1998 and her nine-week-old son in 2002. - Read the entire article here


VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (WAVY.com) - A Virginia Beach woman has been charged with Fraud and Felony Child Neglect. Police say she tried to get out of paying her tab at a restaurant. Investigators say the woman also left her 2-year-old child alone at home for several hours.

Police became concerned that no one was watching the child and went to Chaney's home in the 2100 blk of Waterfront Drive. They found the front door unlocked and discovered the child inside alone. Police determined the child had been home alone since at least 8:30 p.m. Tuesday night through 2:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. - Read the entire article here


A Harvey woman has been arrested for the murder of a five-month-old baby by Jefferson police, admitting that she put the child in a clothes dryer after the child frustrated her, police said.

During the investigation, police said, that Smith continued to reiterate this story to investigators before admitting to police that the child received the burns after she had put him in a clothes dryer after becoming frustrated with the infant.

After putting the child in the dryer, police said, Smith admitted turning it on and leaving the room. When she returned to check on the child, Andre was not breathing. - Read the entire article here


Jackson County, WI - A Humbird woman was charged in Jackson County Circuit Court last week after allegedly taking almost $14,500 from her mother-in-law. Debbie R. Seelow, 50, was charged with identity theft for financial gain and misdemeanor theft. - Read the entire article here


STAUNTON — Police arrested a Staunton woman Monday who is suspected of trying to extort $14,000 from another woman, according to the Staunton Police Department.

Police said the investigation began in mid-July when the victim, a 37-year-old Staunton woman, received two phone calls demanding she pay $14,000 or her husband would receive a letter “that would ruin her life,” according to Officer Lisa Klein, a spokeswoman for the Staunton Police Department. The victim reported the incident to police July 15. - Read the entire article here


Canada - Okotoks RCMP have charged a woman in connection with an assault along a walking path last month. 55-year-old Darline Konta of Okotoks has been charged with assault causing bodily harm. Just before six in the evening on August 28th a woman was assaulted while out for a walk with her dog. It happened in the area behind Cameron Crossing School, on South Railway Street. The assailant was carrying a large black flashlight. - Read the entire article here


LOGAN, Utah (AP) - A Logan woman has been charged with bigamy, after police found she had married five times, but only once was divorced.

Nichole Christine Greenlee made an initial appearance in 1st District Court on Monday. She's charged with one third-degree felony of bigamy and with misdemeanor making a false statement. The charges stem from Greenlee's two most recent marriages.

County records obtained by the Herald Journal show four marriage licenses on file for the 32-year-old Greenlee. On each license application Greenlee used her maiden name, Fasick, and claims it is her "first" marriage. - Read the entire article here


Chicago - A south suburban woman was ordered held on $250,000 bond Friday after being charged with the sexual abuse of her friend's 15-year-old daughter.

At the Bridgeview Courthouse, Judge John Hynes set the bond for Valencia Sephus, 30, of the 15800 block of Loomis Ave. in Harvey, who is charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, according to Cook County State's Attorney's office spokeswoman Tandra Simonton. Sephus evaded police after they started investigating in June. They recently found her and took her into custody Thursday, police said. - Read the entire article here



PASADENA, Texas — Two teenage girls are accused of stabbing a 75-year-old man to death in a robbery that netted them just $15, and police say the mother of one of the teens helped put them up to it.

Dannette R. Gillespie, 38, gave knives to her 15-year-old daughter and Vanessa Anne Ocampo, 19, then waited in the back seat of their car while the teens robbed and killed Eugene Palma, according to a probable cause warrant.

Gillespie's daughter and Ocampo ran to Palma's garage and stabbed him several times. They went through Palma's pockets and car in search of money and Ocampo took $15, according to the document. Gillespie allegedly waited in the back seat of the car for them and got rid of the knives. A palm print on the driver's side door of Palma's car led police to the women, authorities said. - Read the article here