How many times have victims of abuse thought to themselves, believed, or even verbalized the words "I deserved it." This happens so often. Children often believe this to be true about many things. Parents divorcing is another example of when children blame themselves and truly believe it. Look at the case below for a sad example (emphasis mine):
A grandmother accused of forcing her 9-year-old grandson to stay in a closet reportedly gave the boy pills that were not prescribed to him to “make him be quiet,” a court document shows.
The grandmother told authorities she didn’t allow the boy — who weighed only 48 pounds — to go to school because “they can’t handle him.” As a result, the boy was unable to read or write.
According to a search warrant affidavit, Becky Tortellet took her 9-year-old grandson to a behavioral health center for assistance where she told them that she made the boy sleep in a closet, which measured 49 inches deep and 41 inches wide.
During an interview with authorities, the 9-year-old said that he has to sleep in the closet and is also made to stay in there when he is punished or when his grandmother was in the bathroom, the court document states.
The boy — who had pale skin and difficulty walking — said it was his fault because he misbehaves.
“I am bad, horrible, and my mom doesn’t want me anymore,” he said. He refers to his grandmother as his mom. His biological mother left the two boys with the grandmother years ago and hasn’t been heard from since, authorities said. - Read the entire article here
Does anyone remember the Andrea Yates story? How when she was drowning one of her little boys in the tub he would fight his back to the surface and his words were "I'm sorry, mommy, I'm sorry." There is no excuse for these type of behaviors ever.
I have a friend that this story makes me think of. She has told me that she truly feels in her heart of hearts that she does not deserve to be happy, that she does not deserve to treated well and that any negative event that happens to her she deserves. Now she logically understands that this thinking is a problem and wrong but she still can not break free of this deep embedded "feeling" and belief she has. Can anyone guess what kind of relationship she sought out and is in?
Friday, September 12, 2008
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